Without judgement, only confusion, I have struggled to answer this question. In 1921, did the grandparents I never knew, plead with my parents to flee Poland? Did my grandparents promise my mother and father that after they reached safety their families would follow? Did my mother and father ever make peace with their decision to leave? 

When I’ve been asked why did my parents leave, I used to roll my eyes and say, ​“You don’t want to know.” But now it’s important that you do know. My mother and her family fled their town for good reasons. They were Jews. My mother saw her sister raped and murdered. My grandmother watched while one of her children starved to death. My father witnessed his brother strapped to a windmill and tortured. 

Like my parents, immigrants do not leave their countries because they are having a good time. My parents were only two of millions who were desperate and suffering while living in an environment of fear and hate. They wanted peace. They wanted opportunity for a future family. 

This wasn’t easy to tell you, because my parents would say , ​“You don’t want to know.” But we all need to know.